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Happy Together: Creating a Lifetime of Connection, Commitment, and Intimacy, by Bill Cloke PhD
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No matter how much passion there is at the beginning of a relationship, for love to last it must be actively created. Dr. Bill Cloke, an innovative and successful couples' therapist, has been helping couples create lasting connection, commitment, and intimacy by learning the essential relationship skills he now reveals in Happy Together. With sensitivity and practicality, Happy Together pinpoints the issues and actions that can make or break our relationships. Step by step, it will show you * How to identify and overcome personal barriers to meaningful and satisfying connections * The defensive ways we unknowingly kill love and how to learn from conflict to create deeper intimacy * The role of passion and sexuality in our relationships * How to understand and deal with issues of shame and rage that can impact our ability to love * Why deeply held myths about family, marriage, and idealized romance can create expectations that damage our connection with each other * How to become partners in problem-solving * How to effectively use the tools of compassionate communication and "constructive complaining” Rich with practical tips and techniques, including sample dialogues to help you make meaningful changes, Happy Together will guide you in perfecting the skills you need to create a positive vision for your relationship and a roadmap for happiness. "A good book needs to have at least five great ideas about its subject. Dr. Bill Cloke's Happy Together has at least a hundred.” -Raphael Cushnir, author of The One Thing Holding You Back: Unleashing the Power of Emotional Connection "Dr. Bill Cloke provides an accurate portrait of how love is created and nourished. This is a must-have book for a lasting relationship.” -Dr. Carol Bruess and Anna Kudak, authors of What Happy Couples Do "Bill Cloke's Happy Together is full of wisdom, and a compelling read. He stresses that love must be created, every day; the store of love between people must be built up, nourished, and protected. This is how we stay happy together: not just as couples, but as friends and families. This book is a treasure trove of the building blocks of love.” -Allegra Huston (daughter of director John Huston), author of Love Child
- Sales Rank: #608641 in Books
- Brand: Brand: Pacific Highlands Press
- Published on: 2011-01-15
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.50" h x .62" w x 5.50" l, .71 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 240 pages
- ISBN13: 9780982932414
- Condition: New
- Notes: BRAND NEW FROM PUBLISHER! 100% Satisfaction Guarantee. Tracking provided on most orders. Buy with Confidence! Millions of books sold!
From Publishers Weekly
Good communication may be the key to a lasting, loving marriage, but not just any communication. In his first book Cloke argues that real talk based in real life—not myth or fantasy—is missing, and discovering how to achieve this level of communication can reverse the course of a failing marriage. The author, a popular psychotherapist, urges couples to examine both practical priorities and values and whatever they may be idealizing, be that money, sex, or a different definition of success. Couples need to look at behavior and communication patterns from their childhoods, Cloke argues, offering a practical guide and dozens of questions to foster dialogue and reflection. The goal is to end the cycle of hurtful communication by exposing—and learning from—the emotionally-wounded, angry child behind the adult self, and hallmarks of effective communication (criticism vs. constructive complaint, for example) are delineated. While Cloke's ideas about what makes a marriage work are far from revolutionary, he goes beyond common sense, and his case studies put complex marital problems—and solutions—on display. This is a thorough treatment plan for the troubled marriage; in the absence of couples' therapy, or in conjunction with it, it will prove helpful. (Feb.)
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Review
"Happy Together explains why love, like happiness, is an inside job. Dr. Bill Cloke gives great insights into how to create a loving relationship that lasts.” -Marci Shimoff, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Happy for No Reason
"Bill Cloke is a genius at showing us how to make the relationship of our dreams more than just a dream. His step-by-step approach for dealing with the most important and sensitive of relationship issues brings us hope that we can develop the skills we need to make our relationships thrive. Especially key are his sections throughout on how to understand our personal pain and that of our partner and then use the conflicts that naturally ensue to create what we all long for-a deeply loving and intimate connection. If you are serious about wanting to create and share a truly meaningful love, this book is for you. Happy Together is a genuinely beautiful and practical work that should be every couple's companion for a lifetime.” -Patricia Spadaro, author of Honor Yourself: The Inner Art of Giving and Receiving
"This book is a must read for those wishing for loving relationships that work! Bill Cloke is a master of practical methods for cultivating intimacy and love. He reveals the deeper causes of problems we face with loved ones and he offers success stories of couples he has treated and solutions we can apply in our own lives.” -Dr. Joan Goldsmith, coauthor with Warren Bennis of Learning to Lead: A Workbook on Becoming a Leader
About the Author
Dr. Bill Cloke has been a couples' therapist for 30 years. His passion is to help both individuals and couples lead more fulfilling lives and relationships by learning essential relationship skills. He holds a PhD in psychology from California Graduate Institute. A frequent talk radio psychologist, he is also a contributor to PsychologyToday.com and other popular websites and has lectured at UCLA. Bill Cloke lives in Los Angeles, where he works with couples, families, and children from a cross-section of cultures.
Most helpful customer reviews
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
FINALLY...
By pdidhe
After suffering through 2 failed marriages, I was introduced to Dr. Bill's theories and now find myself understanding my behaviors in intimate relationships for the first time in my life.
Part self-discovery, part self-responsibility, Happy Together has helped me develop a very meaningful intimate relationship and to understand how to handle the struggles and difficult feelings that come up occasionally. By understanding my patterns and my partner's needs, struggles have helped us grow closer and develop a stronger bond. Using the workbook sections with my partner has been very rewarding :-)
Concise and very-well explained, Dr. Bill rocks the house!!! I bought a bunch to give away as Valentine's Day gifts for my close couple friends that struggle and seem to be going through the motions in their relationships.
Enough with the drama already!
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Not my style- AND YET IT IS!
By David Escobedo
To be honest I never look at the self-help aisle. I consider myself more of a sci-fi, comic book type. I like editing videos, playing video games, and other such "geek" activities.
This book has become a favorite of mine. Anything that inspires me is appreciated. I just finished it, and it has inspired me. It has allowed me to analyze how I treat a partner and what I expect from a healthy relationshp. Happiness is not a destination but a path.
One thing that I very much appreciate about it, is that it is written to-the-point. It gets the theory/concept across and moves on. It does not get lost in over explaining or flowery rhetoric. Awesome. Also, the way it conveys the information is great. It will use several methods and sometimes even take you back to the time of cavement. (seriously!)
Also, it inspires me to think. Sometimes I read chunks and put the book down. Like did you know(SPOILER ALERT) that the neural pathways in our brain are the same ones for joy AND guilt? And then it expands on that...
So good.
5 stars.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Resonates deeply
By Maggie Houtz
I had started reading the book and wanted to return to it; and then a couple of weeks ago some dear friends of mine were going through an especially rough patch with their marriage. I was listening to the wife tell me about the latest blow-up they had and that she was practically ready to walk away from their marriage, it had gotten so bad. I mentioned to her that I had this book written by a friend & client that I thought she might like to check out, and since they might be looking for a therapist, perhaps it might give them an indication of whether they might want to inquire whether he would be open to seeing them as clients. I gave her the book and within a day she was raving to me that it completely spoke to both of them. I think they are still reading it so I might have to buy a copy to have for my own - I'm really wanting to get back in there and finish reading it!
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